[SE] FREE COFFEE MACHINE

[SWAT]

Step One:

Spoiler

Find a serial for the product you want, the best ones are the "Maestria", "Kitchenaid" and "Lattissma" models, they're all £300 or above.

Step Two:

Spoiler

Wait for the email with your "Club membership number" as that means you're now on their system and they can help you. if you call before they cannot take any action.

Now, it's time to call them!

You want to tell them you've had a problem with your machine, you can say it won't turn on.

They'll ask you to do things like change fuse, plug socket ect, so it is a good idea to say you've already done these before they ask.

Step Three:

Spoiler

They'll then say you have a defective item, sometimes they'll ask you to return it to the store so obviously say it's outside of the stores return window.

They'll set up an order for a loaner machine, which will be their low-model "Pixie" coffee machine, it will come refurbed.

Now you're probably wondering "Why bother getting a serial for their high-end machines if they just send a shitty Pixie?" and it's because they double dip themselves, as you will see in step four.

Step Four:

Spoiler

The courier will deliver your Pixie machine and another will pick it up, for me Parcelforce delivered the loaner and Yodel picked my "old" machine up (just tell them you already sent it back)

They always use different couriers so you may find yourself offered an exchange, just go with it and say to the driver you sent it back.

Step Five:

Spoiler

Now what will happen is they will be "repairing" your machine, but they don't have anything, so call up in a few weeks (or wait until they email you) and ask how your repair is going, they'll speak to their Repairs department and will find they have lost your old machine! (not suprising, as there was never one to repair in the first place, but they don't know that)

They'll then apologise for the inconvenience and set up a new order for the machine you originally had, it will come brand new.

Bonus:

Spoiler

If you want extra items, say you sent back a milk frother too when the courier came as you were unsure about what to send. (only say this if your machine doesn't have a built in milk frother)

The frothers are worth about £100 and are called "Aeroccinos"

You can also ask for extra coffee pods for the inconvenience and they'll send you a few tubes.

 

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